We are all alone in many moments of our lives. Whether it's just momentary or it's an attitude we bring to any place we're at. It's not a feeling we are unfamiliar with. It is clear that communication through words is very important to some, that the idea that what lies outside of our words and actions could exist sometimes seems to frighten people beyond the point of understanding. Leading them to chatter and constantly check in. It's not a one way street. Where does someone go when they seem alone? Thoughts are part of these moments, at least if you are awake. I say that like it's obvious, and you may read it as so. That when you're awake is only when you can be alone with your thoughts, but maybe it is in sleep that you are only ever truly there, or that your thoughts are left alone.

There's a kind of inherent feedback loop to the commentary that is your thoughts. I mistaken understanding that our thoughts could posible precede any kind of action or existence seems almost neccessary to, at least me, exercise control or agency in a world that isn't indifferent, but just is.

We look to each part like we could possible express some understanding of the whole, and seem to expect that some expect that we could take time out from the parts to exercise some kind of expression of self onto the whole. This I feel is the lack of understanding. Our whole and parts may be linked beyond any level of understanding, or they may even be two entirely seperate entities, these both could be true at the same time - and so then I do ask myself, what then? What if this idea of parts and whole alone is flawed. That to label is thought preceding action once again, in a way that doesn't unite but divides. Since hearing the term "Mind is a razor blade" I have lifted it out of fruit bowls and placed it in my lunchbox, enjoying bites out of it but always seeking to devour something that i'm not sure would be able to fill me up.

The tree of life carries so many wonderful fruits, but is it true that to bite the apple of wisdom is evil in itself. Is it the action that takes you towards evil, and is it one really that would never have occured had Adam been alone as is asserted? It seems a slippery slope to assert, that a snake of pure evil intent could be the sole purpose as to Adam's eating an apple, and I feel that anytime i've heard about this story there's a kind of disbelief that sits with most people that the snake really played any part in Adam's devouring of the apple.